So here I am, 7 terminator sessions in and 2 Chemo sessions.
The first Chemo session went fairly well. No harsh side effects. A little nausea. A little tired. But I was still able to function. I was eating like a horse – couldnt eat enough. 2 Breakfasts being the norm.
I sat in the Oncologists’s room just before my second session telling her how great I feel. I was on top of the world. Is this all it was about I asked. I was told that the chemo wasnt too bad and it wouldnt get too much worse. I felt quite upbeat about it all and finally was finding some strength to deal with it all.
Then I had my second session.
Realised at my session that I had lost alomost 3kg’s in the week. Not that I’m complaning. Losing weight while eating like a pig – what could be better.
Went out for dinner with some friends that night and realised I couldnt stand for more than 2 minutes without wanting to pass out. Yes, the Chemo has lowered my blood pressure. And as I usually have low blood pressure, it was making me feel weak.
Then the following 3 days being what I had dreaded.
- Rapid weight loss – think I’ve lost just over 4,5kg’s in total (10 days)
- Low blood pressure
- Fatigue – I’m tired but don’t want to sleep. I just can’t get up and do anything
- Loss of appetite – forcing myself to eat. I have no desire to eat but am forcing myself as I know I need the energy.
- Loss of Focus – I can’t focus on anything. I have a passing interest only in things.
- Preggy brain – Lost half my vocabulary
- Nausea – Not too drastic but it is there. Being taking to anti-nausea pills failthfully but it doesnt make much difference.
All I want to do it lay on the bed.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. I don’t want to see anyone.
I’m not down, I’m not depressed. But everything I do requries a HUGE amount of effort. Will I be spending the next 5 weeks like this?